Читать книгу 📗 "The memoirs of a Russian schoolboy (СИ) - Нигматулин Марат "Московский школьник""

The memoirs of a Russian schoolboy.

Preface.

I started writing this book in may 2017.

I started writing it in English, not in my native Russian. I did so because from the very beginning I was sure, that in Russia this will not be printed.

I confess honestly: worked I over this their essay not painful for something working hard. In those days I had many other things to do, including much more important ones, which I was mainly engaged.

Writing this book took in my life at that time is not the first place. To work on it I turned only in fits and starts. However, me and for this oftentimes the accounted for distract the themselves from much more important on the very moment affairs.

So all this fragmentary, non-systematic work on the book continued until November 2018, when a criminal case was opened against me on charges of terrorism.

My computer, which contained a number of important files, including the essay you were offered, – was seized during the first search of our house. In this regard, the following text has remained unfinished. It is in this form that it is now published.

During the next year, as you know, I did not see a computer or my own composition.

However, at the end of November 2019, after more than twelve months since the loss, – I managed to get my hands on the following composition. As it turned out, one of my very kind and very old friends, Kirill Filatov, saved it on his computer.

Thank you so much for that!

This text is, of course, a draft. And the draft is unfinished. He suffers from a huge number of all sorts of shortcomings. Many things I have stated here are too tendentious. Many ruthlessly misrepresented. About some – at all kept silent.

It happened because at the time when I first started writing this book, – I was a cowardly bastard and also a person stupid enough.

I simply stupidly feared, that if I write in book entire truth precisely so as she there is, and book'll print (let even and in of England), – me'll be stabbed. Either agents of the Russian special services, or assassins, sent by those influential people who do not like the book. And there are a lot of such influential people... Therefore, in fact, I tried to soften many of the facts, to make them not so highly social.

Unfortunately, this is not paranoia.

This can really happen with a writer who expounds thuth, what not very pleasant for Russian elites.

Later, of course, when I was already under house arrest awaiting trial, a lot of things changed in me. I was expecting anything but good. I was ready for anything and mentally already said goodbye to life. That is why I decided then to write another version of my own memoirs – and there to state the whole truth as it is. I was no longer afraid. I had nothing to lose.

This is the most truthful book I have written. It's called «Now it can be told».

During the time I was in prison, then under house arrest, and then in conditions of limited freedom, I wrote a book of my own memories. I had a lot of free time, and therefore the book turned out pretty solid size.

This book tells essentially the same story that is told here. There, however, it is said about all this and more vividly, and in more detail, and much better language.

Nevertheless, in writing this last work I was still limited in time, and therefore many of the things that I have stated in the «The memoirs of a Russian schoolboy», – I did not have time to set out in «Now it can be told».

This is another reason why I think it would be wise to publish this draft at least as an appendix to «Now it can be told».

This last I originally wrote in Russian. And I will print it in Russia, although it has a much more dangerous content for me than the work you are reading now. Now, after all that has happened to me over the past year, – I am simply obliged to tell the Russian society about all this.

Now publishing a book abroad would look like cowardice. No, such work should first be published in Russia and in Russian. I'll find the publisher somehow. The book must will be released. And even if I get killed after it comes out, – so, be it.

Then, if the opportunity presents itself, this work of mine will also be published in England. Let the British reader not worry about that.

In the meantime, back to «The memoirs of a Russian schoolboy».

In addition to cowardice I was still suffering from naivete. Understood, of course, that in Russia such a book even in really censored and softened version hardly issue. Nevertheless, he continued to hope that a miracle would happen and the book would be printed not only in London but also in Moscow.

Therefore, in fact, I have softened many points. I thought if I softened it, it would be printed.

But that's not all.

I was then stuck with group censorship. My old friends and classmates, of course, knew what kind of book I was writing. So me regularly approached different familiar and not very me people and were asked, to I wrote as can be less about those affairs, in which they themselves were implicated, to secrets no one's I not revealed, names and surnames not called Yes and at all wrote as can be more restrained and cautiously.

And I obediently followed the instructions of my censor friends.

In addition, I had not yet completely overcome my petty-bourgeois hypocrisy in those days. That is why I have not written in this book about how I gorged myself almost to unconsciousness, how I masturbated, how I took drugs, how I killed a man and many other things.

However, in addition to various frauds, the text has other problems. So, this book in my opinion is obviously overloaded with sexual and parasexual scenes. The notes I give in square brackets, addressed to the British reader, – very often look ridiculous. And the language of this work is written very clumsy...

A large part of these errors I have corrected in the «Now it can be told».

The latter, however, will be available to the British not soon. To tell about the events, that happened to me during my training, first in the 737, and then in the 1497 school (later united in a single educational center «Proton») and ended in the end a criminal case against me, – I think it is necessary now.

Of course, many of the facts, what set forth in «Now it can be told», – you will not find here. Many others you will meet in a distorted form.

I think, however, that it is better to tell all this not too well than not to tell it at all.

You'll like this book, I hope.

Foreword.