Читать книгу 📗 "The memoirs of a Russian schoolboy (СИ) - Нигматулин Марат "Московский школьник""

Sergei Aleksandrovich was the most righteous man of the ultra-right, right asthe black-hundred views [The black hundreds were called members of the Russian right-wing organizations in the early 20-th century; these organizations was based on the idea of an Orthodox Christian fundamentalism, monarchism and authoritarianism. Often called the black hundreds and the modern right-wing Christian and monarchist orientation; the latter Sergei Alexandrovich and owned.], while preserving all the virtues of pluralistic thinking, which made him so beloved by many of us; in fact, all the historians known to me before and after him, held the views of similar, though sometimes not so radical.

Sergei Alexandrovich was a lean and gray-haired man of fifty, observing all the rules of a healthy lifestyle, with a very expressive look and fine features that always came to school wearing black trousers and a black shirt. He led us history, social studies, safety [Safety or BLS (Basics of life safety) – is a full-fledged subject of the Russian school, in which examines how to escape in case of emergency, how to provide first aid, as well as the basics of military training like the ability to keep a Kalashnikov etc.], labor [Labour or technology – is one such subject of the Russian school, where boys are taught wood and metal, and for girls – sewing and cooking.], sometimes replaced the teacher at the lesson of physical education and the Russian language, being a citizen of encyclopaedic knowledge; related to it will be and many more interesting moments of this book, but so far we will move on to the urgent business. Numerous points of view sounded in his lessons, and he especially loved when these points were the points of conspiracy theory, since he himself respected such theories.

At the same time, my final ideological position was forming, and that position was extremely unusual for the place and time, although it had it’s justification. I had a special hatred of the tradition at school, which constantly led to unsanitary conditions, to detachment from the educational process and other unpleasant things, which I decided to exterminate with my rhetorical art, then still an idealist, which I now repent and confess. The view, however, regarding gluttony within the walls of the school, and indeed, I have not changed, despite my complete turn in some sections of philosophy, and therefore I confirm that everything said in this speech expresses my position both now and then, too. I will report on some of the sensations that I have voiced in his lessons, but for the time being I'll bring the very speech I read in my first lesson in social studies, and which created a grand scandal in our little Bohemia:

«I, Marat Nigmatulin Vladislavovich, the honorable citizen of our glorious Fatherland, I must tell you about the lawlessness that is being made in this institution. Contrary to the covenants of our glorious Lord and Sovereign, many of my fellow citizens are liable to the still corrupting influence of the very decomposing substratum – sinful food! Despite the religious and secular prohibition issued by our God and the head of the district educational department regarding the ban on food in schools, accordingly, many of us do not keep this commandment!  Many of our fellow citizens, including those present here, even at the Great Lent eat, – scary to say, – sausage! I can not even imagine what our great sages would say to this, who taught us all a righteous and blissful life: Vladimir Lenin, IoannKronstadtsky [Ioann Kronstadtsky or «John of Kronstadt» (1829-1908) – a famous Russian saint, a former priest in the town of Kronstadt near St. Petersburg, who was famous for his far-right views.] and others. No wonder the great saint used to say to all ignoramuses: «I saw two pigs alive in the dream before the morning, covered with dough, as they do before Easter –on Great Friday or Saturday. These pigs are you, – the glutton.». He was absolutely right, speaking about our today's youth, that he has absolutely no conception of spirituality! You can not even imagine how disgustingly and disgustingly you look before the president, standing at the walls, burying themselves in their phones, while gnawing aki pigs! Any worthy husband and citizen will have a heart attack at a time when he, with unaccustomedness, will see such disgrace, because it's just an abomination somehow. Do insignificant atheists do not understand that they insult the graves of our best compatriots, whose spirit imbues the school, do not see that gluttony in school is as dangerous as fornication in the walls of church!? The geniuses are weeping, whose great works were exchanged for lascivious food brought from the barbarian lands of the west, but many are already beyond the crunch of them do not hear the call of conscience and ancestors. Not only that gluttony and constant eating of fatty, sharp, sweet and fried dishes leads to spiritual impoverishment, not giving the person time to contemplate the charm of the works of Berdyaev, so it also ruins his health! Do you not understand that the most precious, given to you by nature, your mind, can be buried behind the huge quantity of grub, which you stuff your belly to the brink daily!? Cutting your own life with sausage, you shorten the time to study the works of the Great, thereby losing the chance to achieve a wise state! All of them are exposed to the corrupting influence of the West through food, which already causes our management to fear more than your consumption of drugs. How dare you eat, Dennis, when your country dies?! To each of you I want to say that it's time to finish this business, in order to move to a righteous and meaningful life. Repent, I tell you! Repent before the Fathers before it's too late! Since this problem should find a solution, I submit my proposal on this issue, which consists in imposing criminal punishment for gluttony. It is criminal punishment that will solve this problem, like many others! The police club will shake the crap out of your heads, and the grub of your stomachs!  Long live the criminal punishment for gluttony - the ugliest of vices!».

To all jokers, wits, and other representatives of Scandinavian mythology, I want to remind you that I spoke all this at the fullest level of seriousness and with knowledge, and therefore I do not recommend laughing. Of course, what kind of reaction followed this whole affair, and also what a festive scandal happened about it, I should not say. Of course, everyone cursed and demanded to lynch me on the spot, which they would have been able to put into practice, if not for the intervention of our wonderful teacher who laughed, and then calmed down the class, said that all this is true, and our class deserved such a  relationship.

After the end of the lesson and the exit of my class for a change, Marina Brinyushina came up to me, who dared to say: «Do you want us not to eat?! Doyou want us to starve to death?! Answer me, shit, when I'm talking to you!». Many others picked up this call, becoming like a herd of baboons, which, nevertheless, continued until the moment when I replied: «Ah, the corowushka!» [The corowushka – a diminutive version of the word «cow».]. Turning to her the fifth point, and then, turning away, withdrew. This, of course, triggered a response, which was very painful for my lower place, which, however, was only a prelude to the more frightful car on the part of the pedagogical staff. Until then, after leaving the class of social studies, I went to our lavatory, where I washed my hands, but after that I also happened to meet two very noble people who will do much for me afterwards.

Chapter six.

Yarik and Rustik.