Читать книгу 📗 "The memoirs of a Russian schoolboy (СИ) - Нигматулин Марат "Московский школьник""

[Yarik and Rustik is a diminutive form of the official names: Yaroslav and Rustem. In general, this is the diminutive form of words in the Russian language is very common.] There, by that time, Yaroslav Yukhanov and Rustem, whose name I do not remember, which is not very important, conducted their dialogue, for in the book you will not meet them too often, mostly in the stories and projects, accomplishments and slogans of Antonina Bozhenko. Of course, I am obliged to describe for you their outer and inner world, which was to some extent interesting and original for our world, and also it is obliged to say about their social situation in our internal school system. In our school, this international duo of Russian and Caucasian [Yaroslav – was Russian by nationality, Rustem – Chechen.] performed the functions of documentaries and reporters for school media, all controlled by Antonina Bozhenko, like the «Journal of the Patriotic Schoolboy» and others, which will be discussed further. I must convey the words of gratitude to these citizens, since so many of my speeches and antics, forgotten even by myself, but very important for history, were preserved only and exclusively thanks to their cameras that captured our entire school life in all its subtleties.

The most famous joke of these two was that they approached Sergei Aleksandrovich, and then, taking him to the camera, said: «You lost your eggs, but we decided to return them!». At the same time, they offered him two eggs cooked with a steep method, which our historian reacted very unusually, thanking them, and then eating both eggs, waving his hand at the camera, which accurately displayed this. [In this case, the whole point of the jokes play on words in the Russian language: we have the word «eggs»refers to eggs of birds and reptiles, and human testicles.] Now, however, I must return to describing their appearance, also quite important and interesting, beginning with the fact that they were both in the fifth grade, being a year younger than me. Rustik was a skinny boy, who did not give out a resident of the southern regions in his outward appearance: a fashionable haircut, a clean school uniform, a snub nose. Yukhanov was absolutely bloody by a tanned Russian average build boy, always dressed in school uniform, with a straight nose, an unimpressed chin, and blond-colored hair trimmed with a bang.

- Hey, what's so fat? – Rustik called to me, standing with Yarik at the toilet window, the moment I went to the restroom.

- Do you care about the state of my body? – I asked. – Why is a man interested in the bodily features of another man?

- Yes nothing – it's interesting simply. – Rustik answered, chewing a roll.

Further, in fact, nothing interesting happened, because our conversation developed along the usual for this institution trajectory, with which you can see above and below in the text, but still some places from this conversation I will give.

- Build the press? – Rustik asked me.

- No! – I answered.

- It can be seen. – said Rustik,continuing to chew a roll. – I do it 500 times a day, and I raise 1000 dumbbells! Understand?! At me therefore also weight of 32 kg.

- I have a press too! – Yarik put in, chewing a chocolate bar.

At that moment I answered that in our school they usually answered similar boasts: «And will you be able to show it?».

- Well, I did not build it for four months, so it swam with me, but I can.

Yukhanov replied, somewhat embarrassed. The muscles of his stomach were, in fact, really strong, but they were hidden under a thick layer of fat.

- I'll take it all away – starting from today, I'm starting to build! – reported to me Yarik, continuing to chew.

Rustik had things to do with the abdominal muscles, I must say, much, much better, although after that it will not be too important for our narrative. All of us, probably, know the value of the promises of a lazy and gluttonous schoolboy, and therefore we will be able to predict the further development of events. By the winter of the same year, Yarik had grown very serious, never really losing weight, but only getting stronger in his obesity, which was only facilitated by the fact that he was soon transferred to the sitting position of the editor after leaving school journal. In the beginning of December I met him in the corridor, finding the moment when he was returning from physical education, being all wet from sweat, red from the heat and gasping for breathlessness. The wet T-shirt was tightly wrapped around a drooping belly, which continued to grow further, that soon everyone began to notice. Soon, Yukhanov could no longer pull back or pull himself up, and finally completely abandoned physical education, persuading his parents for a financial reward to get himself a certificate of release from physical education. [In Russia all medical services covered by the state, although private clinics also in this case exist, but they are not very popular even among the rich people. To doctors, however, pay a little, – because some of them for a small cash bribe do people fake medical documents, such as a hospital leaf or sheet of exemption from physical education, such and got my friend. In Russia if you were absent from work or school for three weeks, then you only need to give 200 US dollars to a doctor to write you a reference that will help you to avoid any problems. In addition, doctors can osvobodit from military conscription.] Subsequently, I will still touch on the topic of Yarik and his physical condition, as well as the subtleties of his work as a reporter, although all this will not be very detailed.

Rustik lasted a little longer, but when he was in the sixth grade, he also surrendered before the onslaught of vices, to the seventh class, finally losing his sporting appearance. He, however, was thin on the complexion, and therefore in a full-fledged fat man, which later became Yarik, did not turn out only by growing a giant belly, conflicting with his tiny chest and thin handles. Hands, by the way, before that covered with muscles, he became simply extremely weak, covered with fat, became the same as a jelly, and sosoon he could not press more. The subjects themselves observed their obesity as an absolutely inevitable process, not accelerating it in any way, but without trying to reverse it, and so he managed to reveal himself in the fullest possible form, albeit gradually.

If you are surprised or amazed at why I write so much about fat, this is due to the fact that schoolchildren of my era and my place aesthetized obesity, sought to make it beautiful, sang praises to him, some almost deified him. Obesity in my time became so fashionable among young people that a lot of skinny young people gained weight specially, «spoiling their own figure», judging by the opinion of the older generation. On this fashion, I will say more about this fashion in this work and in more detail, for the time being I wanted to finish the scene in the restroom, which was torn by Tonya,who yelled in all her throat: «Y-y-a-a-rik, Ru-u-u-stik, come here, fucking fagots, condoms used, whores!». The boys fell from their seats, running to shoot another fight on the camera for the electronic magazine Antonina Bozhenko.

Chapter seven.

The lesson of the Russian language and the birth of a new genre.